Did life just imitate art...or a blaxpoitation movie?

So my boy Earl-I mean DMX-just pulled one of the biggest Hip-Hop stunts in history since Jay Z stabbed dude or better yet since Flava Flav held his girlfriend hostage in a psychotic rage!

When you read this, it has more action than his movies! (OK, that might be an exaggeration, but then again...)

First of all, he had to been high off of something to tell that person, "I'm a federal agent! Gimme your whip, b*tch!" (I'm paraphrasing...) I know that person had to have chocolate pudding in his briefs (or boxers) because DMX is scary like Golem.

That didn't work, so DMX hops back in the car with my (also high) friend. (Why did you need that other car, again?) Since the parking lot attendent didn't buy the, "I'm a federal agent! Open this sh*t up, b*tch!" So DMX did what any action star would do, bust through the gate. (Except action stars would be on a set, following a script, being filmed, you get the picture...)

DMX gets arrested and the cops finds the drug that is the root of comical crime the world over. Yes, crack... (I've been reading about his rumored reunion with crack, but I also heard that Mike like tykes. Just like Mike, you keep getting arrested for the stuff, I start to believe the rumors.)

Then DMX recieves more degrees than the nerdiest nerd, a grand total of 13. Seven for possession of a controled substance. Three for criminal mischief, and another three having a "billy club". (Like the Keystone Cops?)

This is news around the world. Ireland, Japan, India and your local crackhouse...where he's GOT to be a national hero.

Now you see what happens when a crackhead gets access to large sums of money. Too much crack and alcohol would make you act like that, too!

Comments

[noixe]

DMX's $400,000 crack party!

[Joey Pinkney]

Now I see why he has asthma. I pound of crack a day would kill any mammals lungs.